Deezy is growing fast, and so is his crazy personality! This kid never stops I swear! He is sooo hyper and has such a strong personality, he thinks he is just hilarious all of the time (which, to be honest, even when he is getting in trouble, I find it hard to not laugh when I look at the goofy faces he makes). He is saying so many new words, but I am sure we are some of the few who can understand what they are yet, like "wubby" is water. He is constantly eating as well, the kid never stops! But he is far from over weight, he is tall and lean actually, but man can that kid put stuff down! Not only that, but he hides food for later, and can smell chocolate from a mile away. I hid my dark chocolate on the top shelf in the pantry, and he climbed up and got it, no problem. He is a handful and isn't even two yet, but he provides much needed entertainment during the day. He is now 1 month sober from the boob! That was far from an easy task, but he did it! I breastfed that kid for almost 2 years! He still is attached to falling asleep on them at nap time, I'm sure it is a comfort thing, but he also now sleeps in a big boy bed in his brothers and his room! (not a toddler bed, a big boy bed!)
My husband pretty much rocks too, he's mentoring at this nurturing father's program at DCF on Thursday's and is really enjoying it, he took both of the boys one night that everyone was bringing their kids. He provided the entertainment (which was floor hockey) and the kids had a blast! Not only is he giving the father's there hope that they will be able to have a relationship with their child (my husband being a rare case where a father has full physical custody of his child) but he is also learning things while he is there. He also passed another ASE test (3 now in less than a year!) and he gets another dollar raise for every ASE certification he gets! Not only that, but we are moving into a single family house, with a yard, in this area right by his job the end of February! FINALLY, the kids can run around and "walk as loudly" as they like without our cranky landlord complaining! We can also get that rotty we have been wanting for so long because we will have the yard!
"Loving life right now...happiness wasn't in my vision but now I'm staring at it." ~Unknown
Now for the main purpose of this post, Gino's case. In August the "biological mother" was granted visitation again even though she failed a drug test that day in court, not only that but the Judge lectured her for a long time and told her that the only reason he was allowing the visits was to show her what she would lose out on, and that this was her last chance, and he didn't want to be the one to do it, but he would terminate her parental rights if she messes up again. Yes, we are livid he has allowed visits, we are not stupid this girl is NOT sober by any definition of the word, but we do have the Judge saying this is her absolute last chance so we are hoping that works out in our favor. We have had so many issues with the current visitation schedule and agreement, she smokes in the house with Gino there and he has very bad asthma that he has to take a steroid and an anti-inflammatory for EVERY day (she is also the reason he has this asthma thanks to her smoking and drug use while pregnant), until recent complaints made by us he only had snacks as lunch, she clipped his fingernails and almost every single one was bleeding, her boyfriend (who is a creep and is a clear drug user himself) has been on visits even though the Judge had specifically said no to anyone besides immediate family being on the visit, and some issues with lying from the supervisor as well as her not supervising the visits properly. That isn't even all of our worries and complaints, but that's a bulk of them. She has NOT been taking the random urine screens that were originally ordered because where she lives, one of the only places that administered those has now been shut down so the Judge (obviously not thinking) said she was to take them through the probation department, but her color is not even called every month! SO we had been trying to come to an agreement about how, when and where she could take these tests to assure us that she is staying sober. We had come to a (not final) agreement that she would take a hair follicle every 30 days and that would be sufficient. There is also a GAL involved with our case who is supposed to do what is in Gino's best interests (that is questionable that she has been doing that at all) who came to our house and spoke to Gino on Friday, we also were scheduled for a sit down with her (that was very last minute and a pain in the ass) the same day. While we were at this meeting, our lawyer is trying to get us what we want for Gino and her new lawyer (who is a jerk and pretty apparent a heavy drinker), we had somewhat come to an agreement that we were obviously not pleased with. Our lawyer went back to the other room to discuss the hair follicle and to see the most recent one and the "mother" stumbled up to the GAL, our lawyer and her lawyer and slurred that she needed to leave to catch her boat. She apparently could barely stand or speak, now not only are we certain she is using something, but the GAL and our lawyer have witnessed first hand what we have seen going on for the last 5 years. This could work in our favor hopefully, now we are waiting on her to actually submit to the 12 panel hair follicle (the only one that shows her prescriptions for xanax and methadone, which she takes for back pain, NOT EVEN her addiction to heroin, she is prescribed it and has full freedom with how she takes it and when she takes it!) The last two tests we have from her (urine and hair which was not the 12 panel it was only a 5 with extended opiates which does not include prescriptions) were both "clean" which makes us worry she is misusing her scripts, which would make her "pass" the tests and be allowed to destroy Gino's life even more. Low and behold, I go back into the tests from March-May and her levels are all over the map (her ng/mL levels which is the amount of the metabolite that shows up in the screens) her Benzo (xanax) levels went from 7,000 ng/mL's to 79,000 ng/mL's!!! As well as her methadone ng/mL levels going from 850 to 1400!!! However, these new tests she is taking just say pass or fail they show no levels, so how are we to prove she is misusing these prescriptions?! And what exactly are the ng/mL's supposed to be for someone who is prescribed these medications (anyone who really does know and has the answer, please let me know, I know the cutoff levels to be considered detected but I cant find what the levels would be to be a red flag that she is abusing her prescription), addicts are so good at what they do, getting messed up and hiding it when necessary. The GAL has now said that even if her test comes back clean she doesn't think she should be around Gino because she would obviously be mentally unstable, duh of course she is, and its because she is not sober, and has never been she has just gotten away with it like she is paid to. We NEED this hair follicle to come back and be dirty and/or show abnormal levels for her prescriptions because we all know she is not sober, and Gino does not need this crap. This is her last chance, those are the words right out of the Judge's mouth and thank God we got that on recording (cost us 51 bucks but I hope it was worth it) so we can do our best to hold him to his word since what he says is under oath. 5 years of this nonsense is MORE than enough, it's time to end it. It's just a matter of finding out how to catch her at what she does best. So for anyone that has answers, really, please let me know because we are running out of options. I have always believed that karma comes back to get you for both positive and negative things,but with this karma is taking her sweet time.
"This is the last chance where he or she has sole control over his destiny..."
~Capt. Douglas J. Katz
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