The above quote was made by someone I am sure you all are familiar with, Oprah Winfrey. Now, I don't think I have ever watched a full episode of hers ever in my life, but I must say that quote rings very true for my family, current and past.
I was adopted at a fairly young age, my biological mother couldn't get her own life under control let alone add an infant to it, which if you ask me, she should have thought about before getting sexually involved with someone without the proper precautions. Now I have never been perfect, nor have I acted in such a manner, but I learn from my mistakes (which she seems not to do).  Nine (9) children later, she currently only has custody of one (1) of her children, excuse me if I sound doubtful but it's hard to erase 23 years of disappointment and heart break. My adoptive family, also far from perfect, may have been difficult at times, but hell, I wouldn't be where I am today without them and for that I am very grateful and I wouldn't change them for the world. My mother (adoptive) and I still to this day are very different people, making it very difficult to get along often resulting in arguments which are usually pointless, but I thank her for everything she has done for me and love her just the same. My father (the only one I have ever known, I don't know and most certainly don't care to know my biological father) is the most amazing man in my eyes, he's got it all, smart, funny, talented, patient, etc. I could go on for days about him. Growing up I had a great relationship with him, over time that relationship weakened due to tensions with my mother and I, but I cherish those times as a child with my Dad.  Lots and lots of siblings, Eleven (11) in my adoptive family, seven (7) of which were adopted themselves. All of us are different in many ways, but I love them all as if we all biologically were related. I am and will always be very protective of them all...over protective at times I'm sure.
So, as you can see I understand and agree with Oprah Winfrey's quote:

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."

This all brings me to where I am today, a full-time mother of two, a full-time wife, a full-time student, self-proclaimed complaint/motion/affidavit writer for my husbands (and my) case to do what is in our sons best interest (frequently going up against a "mother" who pretends to care but really continues these shenanigans to get back at my husband), etc. I am so many things! I think it is high time that laws about the best interests of children to be changed...."mother's" fuck up just as much as father's do but you don't see their rights being terminated as easily as a father's rights are terminated.  I have NO tolerance for women (or men) who choose people, substances, jobs, anything over their children. OWN up to your responsibilities and do what is best for your child.  In our case, the "mother" should leave all of us alone, she has NO relationship with our son, never has consistently tried to, nor does HE want to have anything to do with her ( he doesn't call her mom, I AM MAMA), she always (and I mean always) chooses heroin and other substances over "her" son, pretends she is sober when in reality she is just hiding the fact that she is not, blatantly disrespects and doesn't follow court orders, the sad thing is half the time this court system allows her to do all of that to Gino. If it was the father, and he did that, his rights would have already been terminated, and personally I think that it is absurd that hers have not been. My husband has full physical custody and shared legal custody of our son, and next week we will be fighting for Sole physical and Sole Legal custody. Eventually I will be filing a petition for adoption, but let me tell you no one caters to the middle class, we can not afford the absurd $30-50,000 lawyers would charge for a contested adoption case, so most likely we will be going about it on our own unless 50 grand pops up magically!
On our last court date two things were changed in our favor, the venue (which was 2+ hours away) and "mother's" visitation was terminated.  I wish I could have screamed with pleasure, but I kept my composure.  But let me tell you, when we told our son that he didn't have to have visits anymore he said "YES, WE WON!!! WE WON!!!! WE WON!!!!" while doing a little dance, honestly he came up with that on his own. He hated visits, which he stated every time he had a visit and every day after. We tried to be as positive about them (to him) as we could, but that made no difference.  It broke our hearts every time we had to take him to a visit (which were "supervised" by her father), he would scream and cry, and latch onto our legs. You want an amazing child who is very bright, listens well, does what he is asked to DRASTICALLY change, make him have visits with a woman he doesn't like who has never been there for him, who TELLS him to call her Mummy and NOT to call me Mama....let's see how you would feel.  Every time court roles around I get knots in my stomach and I feel anxiety attacks coming on because more often than not they side with the "mother". New judge, new beliefs.  There is always a chance that they will allow her to do more damage to my kid.
I met my husband 3 years ago, 6 months of which he tried SO hard to get me to give him the time of day.  I had just come out of a serious relationship that put me in a serious depressed/fuck men state of mind. He had a son (who was so flippin' cute) and lived with his mother, who seemed nice enough. I tried not to get involved, I really did, but with an adorable little boy who was in need of a mother type figure, and a man who was hilarious and very charismatic, it was only a matter of time before I stopped fighting to not talk to him. I am the first to say we started out the wrong way, but there is a reason for everything.  He was an alcoholic, with a mother who was worse than he was with drinking, other substances and she was manipulation, a liar and a thief. He was trying to raise a little boy with no good parent figures in his life. But I knew that the man I know today was in there, through good and bad we worked things out, he now has 2 years sober (almost), a steady job (that extremely underpays him), a wife and two beautiful kids, and a life headed in the right direction.  We had to lose a lot of people along the way to get to where we are today, some family and lots of friends, but in the end (well thus far at least) all of the difficult decisions have been worth it.  Don't get me wrong, there were times I was about to say GOODBYE to him and all the baggage that he brought to the table. It's true, you can not change anyone, but they sure can change themselves if they want to and put their mind to it.  My husband is the perfect example of that, and believe you me it was far from easy.
My days are packed with mother duties, while trying to make time for myself.  This week I started the fitness program P90X, I had been going to the gym but their daycare is not up to my standards even for my two hour workouts.  So I decided to go another route that I had heard a lot about and one of my close friends was trying as well! And let me tell you, I have not been this sore since I have birth to my 10 lb son (I am 5"1' 136 lbs, it was NOT an easy task) whose shoulders got stuck in the process. However, I am determined to stick to it, I want to be healthy, I am not over weight by any means and I am generally happy with my appearance, but I want to be able to keep up with my boys easily and get rid of my wrinkley belly button in the process! I have completed three (3) days of workouts so far, and I can barely walk down the stairs, it's pretty painful (no pain no gain they say) but not like "OH SHIT, I cut my finger off!" kind of pain, it's a good pain. I had a pretty serious knee injury in HS (tore my ACL in half) and had surgery on it, which ended up not fixing the injury in the long run.  So, I am working with a bum knee with a serious daily work out regiment, but if a man can have a prosthetic leg and do the workouts, I have no excuse.
I plan on blogging my daily trials and tribulations, ups and downs, good and bad, triumphs and loses, you get the picture. I am new at the blogging game, but hope along the way to meet people with advice and a general interest in what I have to say.

"Any woman can give birth, but it takes a special person to be a real mother."